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| 00;00;10;29 | We sit here and try and find the secret recipe for success and happiness. What is it? It’s relationships. Research shows that relationships are some of the most valuable aspects of life, independent of race, gender, wealth, etc. Valuable relationships across the board improve well-being and happiness. But the question is, how much time and energy are you devoting to your relationships? |
| 00;00;35;19 | Are you expecting to be the sitting, isolated duck watching a slew of ducklings in a pond paddle together up the river while you just hope that one’s going to turn around and give you a peck? Life news that ain’t happening. So often we find ourselves asking why people aren’t reaching out to us, and we find ourselves disappointed when our cell phone is not digging, asking us to be with someone. The same time., |
| 00;01;02;04 | I’d ask you, how often are you providing valuable check ins for those you care about? It doesn’t need to be a 30 minute therapy session where you go into your deepest, darkest secrets with someone. In fact, people value you reaching out solely for the purpose of checking in on them and not for your own venting time. A one tap gif with the send button can often do the trick to let someone know you’re thinking about them. |
| 00;01;32;21 | You waste hours reading about celebrity strangers who you think you know, but really have no idea who they are, and yet can’t find the time to check in on those. who you may actually be able to foster a real relationship with. To be happy, find your signature strengths and capitalize on them. Give yourself time, but not too much time where you find it exhausting, to allocate for others. |
| 00;02;01;10 | Often times when there is limited time, the content of what you choose to deliver to someone is more meaningful and appreciated. If your strength is humor, have your checkin be lighthearted. If you’re a deeper person, let them know that you’re thinking about them. And if you’re like me, you may be able to tell someone who is a friend you love them without actually coming off insincere or weird. |
| 00;02;25;26 | This isn’t a one time deal either. Relationships and reaching out takes time, effort, and consistency. Anything in life that is most valuable takes time and effort. When you think about the things that people tend to be most proud of, it often times did not come with immediate gratification. Think about children, for example. Many parents say that their biggest accomplishments are their children. |
| 00;02;51;10 | They are also a lifelong commitment. Same thing with education. Getting a medical degree, for example, is an accomplishment. But with all the training, many spend close to 30 years just to get the diploma. The point is, if you want a deep relationship and you want a connection, the onus is on you to make the connection. Allocate the time to reach out to those who you care about. |
| 00;03;18;10 | Do it consistently and predictably, with no strings attached. Understand that there are times when you will be the one who is primarily reaching out. Make checkins concise but meaningful, associated with a purpose to capitalize on your personal strength, whether it be humor or emotional intimacy. Remember that anything in life that has true value takes work. It’s therefore your job to paddle upstream. |
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Relationships Take Effort
- Relationships
Read time: 3 minutes
Samantha Saltz, MD
Double Board-Certified Child, Adolescent & Adult Psychiatrist
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